The Problem with a Social Media Ban for Teens

Here's an opinion you might not expect a father of four children to have:

I don't agree with the Canadian government's proposed plan to ban social media for children under 16.

Not because social media is a safe place for our kids.

It's not.

Tech companies have repeatedly demonstrated their willingness to put profits over people's mental well-being, and that's a societal problem we can't afford to ignore.

But a full-out ban for those under 16 ignores how our digitally native youth use technology in positive ways to communicate and connect with their friends, and unfairly punishes those children who are being taught to use social media responsibly.

The problem is that a full social media ban for teens is a machete, and what we need is a scalpel.

My wife and I won't win any "perfect parents" awards, but we think we're doing a pretty good job making the "tough calls" on cell phones and social media.

Our kids don't get a cell phone until after their Grade 8 graduation.

(That's as long as we could hold off with our eldest until her not being able to participate in group texts began to affect her social life. That set a precedent.)

To have a phone, they must sign a strict "Cell Phone Contract" I developed; not following the rules means forfeiture of their device.

Some of the terms: we always have the phone's password, we have the right to check its contents at any time, they'll maintain a minimum GPA in school, they'll keep the battery charged at all times (so they can always be reached), they won't use the phone after 9 pm...

... and no social media.

Social media requires a contract addendum, available once responsible phone use is demonstrated.

That agreement begins like this:

Social media is intentionally designed to be addictive. Because social media companies make money based on how long people spend using their products, social media is designed to trigger the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter in the brain associated with pleasure and reward. This trigger can lead to a "dopamine loop" where users are motivated to repeatedly check and engage with social media in search of those rewarding stimuli (such as “likes”, comments, or notifications), which can have serious negative impacts on one’s mental health.

This “Social Media Use Contract Addendum” is in place to set healthy and fair rules for how, when, and why social media may be used. Both parties agree to abide by the terms outlined below.

Is our family's approach to cell phones and social media a good one?

I don't know... ask me in 20 years, when I'll be in a much better position to tell you if it worked.

But our policies are an attempt to recognize a simple truth: it's better to teach our kids to use technology responsibly than to ban it altogether for fear that they won't.

My friend Mo recently published a great op-ed in The Globe and Mail outlining why he thinks a social media ban won't address the real problem festering in our society.

You should definitely read it.